I suppose I can continue my blog post with a short update. I have a doc appointment scheduled for hormone replacement therapy purposes, coming up in 3 weeks. This does not guarantee that I will receive hormones as the doc can still block access even with a letter of recommendation from my shrink. Plus they can't give me the stuff on the first appointment, that's for the second appointment I think.
I reach this point because there can be a few outcomes. Get on hrt, succeed, live life as woman and be happy. Get on hrt, fail, detransition, live life as a man knowing that what I thought I wanted wasn't worth it in practice. Or the worst case scenario, never try to transition, get old, kill self out of depression because its too late to even try. I figure it's better to try and fail than never to try at all. I know for certain that if I repress this, it will only come back later in life and hit me harder than it did last month. With how my life is now, it's almost ideal for a transition. I don't have a wife or kid that would be fucked over, my friends and family are cool with it, my boss is cool with it...if I had a time to attempt it, it's now.
