Exactly. I'm rather desensitized to a lot of different things, but that video still got me. I think it's something to do with the rather large explosion of blood and such when they collided... It's still hard to think about.. I think the reason so many people can talk about it as though it's no big deal is that they simply don't think about it. Really think about it. It might be because it's 5:30 and I'm burned out, or maybe it's because I'm sort of depressed right now, (not that I let myself think I ma, most of the time), or maybe it's simply the sobering qualities of the video itself, but I feel really bad about that, and about all the other times where people glance over a tragedy and don't even think. The media has desensitized us to the point where we can watch death, violence, and hate and then turn the TV off, and forget it ever happened in a heartbeat.
You know. I think it is that I'm somewhat depressed right now. All my friends are gone away, hell, the only people I see outside my family are my girlfriend, and my brother's girlfriend. I have no job, no money, I'm stuck doing yard work for my grandmother as my income. My parents constantly bitch about me getting a job, and find everything they can to keep me occupied, which tends to be more yard work. My life is in limbo right now, but I still can't make myself take a job that I don't want... I feel like I have no control over my life...
Why did I let it become this way. I had hoped never to become what I am now, and now that I am, I don't do anything to change it... I almost feel like I want to go back, do things over. Do things differently. Why do I let myself regret everything?
I'm fucking rambling again. Fuck it.
