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« on: June 16, 2015, 10:57:47 PM »
I ain't saying sex is bad, though it did start off a bit rocky for me, those problems have been ironed out and it's fine now. It's just, it's not the best thing ever, it's damn good, but it aint the best thing ever.
But we pretty much met at work. I know work relationships are taboo, but I don't really work a serious job at the moment and im looking for something with better hours. Anyhow, they've made a comment about their folks being gone for a week and they'll be alone for a week. I live in Michigan, they moved here from California back in...February ish, so they don't have that big of a circle of people yet. I figured we get along, and I'd go over there and hang out.
Basically, I wasn't interested in anything happening, I figured we'd just hang out and talk. They're like trans, ftm, but now they've told me non binary, not identifying as either so to say. So because of that, wasn't really interested in anything romantic happening, but also because of it, we could relate on that level because I've had my own trans experience. So I went over with my n64, we talked while that was being kind of passively played, stayed till 4am...and that sparked another visit the next day, brought my ps2 but mostly just talked, stayed till 6am...which then I figured I'd go over again the next day...It was a Sunday, and I stayed till Wednesday. Nothing happened the entire time, just talking and hanging out, until Sunday. They were going to bed, I was going to leave, they offered for me to stay over so I wouldn't have to drive home...I thought about it...ended up saying fuck it and sleeping there...more talking, I end up with my arm around them...they take my hand towards their breast...and yknow, yadda yadda...now we're where we're at.
It just kinda happened. It's weird going from "not really attracted to this person, but they're cool and we get along" to "holy shit they're gorgeous, I love being around this person" in a pretty short period of time. I do know "new relationship feels, everything's gonna feel perfect, then after a while it slows down and blablabla" but, right now it's going good, trying to take futurey stuff into consideration and squash potential issues as I think of them. Communicating and being as honest as I can to try and avoid any issues in the future. Also like...large age difference between us, right now it's not an issue, but I really don't know how it will affect things in the future. I do not wish to say what it is, but they aren't 21, and I'm quite a bit older than 21...It really makes me feel like the bad guy in a way for whatever reason. Partly due to that, I'm not making any moves myself but following their lead or going with their advances, unless it just comes up in conversation as something we both want to do because then I know it's cool. It's a bit weird to think about when I am away from them, but with them I honestly don't see it being obvious at all. I know my place, and my entire goal is to make this person as comfortable as I can. I want to say I've done a damn good job of it so far, because of the feedback I have gotten, but I just really really really really don't want to cause any drama at all. If there's a problem, we can talk and be civil, and solve it. Just trying to lay down this baseline "it's ok if you don't like something or want to do something, we can talk about it and there won't be a problem" type of vibe. Because I figure if we can't talk about something, there's just going to be problems down the line, and I don't want that.
So, like, it's been cool so far. Trying to think about things to do outside of our residences, going out, movies, dinner, whatever. It's really nice. I haven't felt this good in probably over a decade now. I've literally never felt so comfortable around someone in my entire life. Where we can fuck, and afterwards, just joke around and laugh about whatever. It just damn nice, I don't need to pretend to be someone else, we can just joke around and whatever and it's ok.
*edit*
Idk how I make big tldr posts when I drink, but I do. At least my drinking has gone down a lot.
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This fuckin old silhouette ive been driving for the past 10 years. That damage on the side was from the LAST GODDAMN SNOW OF THE YEAR early march. Going down the decline of a bridge too fast, by too fast, I mean 10 under the speed limit, when i shoulda been going 25 under the speed limit. Lost control of the vehicle when I was trying to slow down. Not a fun time, but, I needed a new car since 2013 so at least this forced that into happening.
