Author Topic: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.  (Read 392 times)

Bobbias

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Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« on: June 24, 2020, 03:10:00 PM »
So, I'm gonna rant a bit about all this bullshit.

Coronavirus sucks, and getting laid off sucked pretty hard, but that was honestly the least shitty part of things. After I was laid off, the issues I had with my car's coolant system decided to flare up again. I overheated basically as soon as I got on the highway to head to my parents' place. Since I was laid off, I didn't really need my car, so I put off getting it fixed. Then, I get a call partway through wednesday asking if I could come in to start working the following monday. So I freak out, and try to get my car to a garage to hopefully get things fixed asap. Turns out because they didn't have a full drive on hoist, the car was too rotted for them to fix. I nearly had a panic attack, and barely managed to avoid it (mostly through a combination of conscious breathing exercises and smoking weed). So now I'm getting a new car.

While I'm trying to get all this dealt with I've been borrowing my mom's car for a bit, but only during the week, leaving me without a car on the weekends. Both times I was supposed to catch a bus into town, I missed the bus. Luckily both times I was able to get something figured out, but that added stress was not helpful.

And then yesterday I went into town early to help my dad move some furniature out of my grandmother's old place (apparently she's now in assisted living and her dementia has supposedly progressed quite a bit, we didn't find that out until after other family members had made all the arrangements and had her shipped out), and my dad had a heart attack. He's still unconscious in the ICU, sedated and on a ventilator. I was right there when it happened, and had to perform CPR until the paramedics arrived. I haven't been eating well even before that, but now I haven't been able to even think about food without feeling sick. I've been surviving on nicotine and caffeine for the past 24 hours.

So uh yeah, 2020 can fuck right off the calendar.

EDIT: my parents' place is 50km away (35 miles), which is also the town I work in.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 03:11:41 PM by Bobbias »
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Zephlar

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2020, 02:11:04 PM »
Bobbias I'm really sorry, that's horrible. I hope your dad is gonna be ok. Try to take care of yourself can understand why you're feeling so sick, but get yourself some nutrition. Don't wanna add one more issue to the growing list.

Not a religious person but putting some positive vibes your way homie. Been watching a lot of people I know go through hard times seems like everything is going wrong everywhere. My best friend has all but lost the small business he's worked so hard for over a decade to achieve. He's already lost 150k this year in contracts. He's gonna have to move back to Youngstown and work his old job siding houses for a while.

Hang in there.

Bobbias

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2020, 12:37:37 AM »
Well, as far as taking care of myself goes, I basically decided I need some time off for the stress and anxiety. I'm gonna be applying for short term disability, and will be making use of the employee assistance program that my company has. Right now I've got a sick note saying I'll be off until at least the third, at which point we'll see how things are going. After I posted that first post, my GF and I went out and I got some meal replacement drinks just for when the anxiety is bad enough I can't eat. I've been able to eat some solid food since then, as long as the anxiety and stress isn't making my stomach all fucked up.

And the flashbacks are going away. I'd be fine one moment then I'd suddenly remember some detail from the event and just immediately the anxiety would kick in. It seems to be getting better, but we still don't know if he has any blockages, and what his brain function might be. He's been sedated and kept in a mild hypothermic state in order to hopefully improve his odds for success, and it's taken a while to warm him up before they go looking for blockages and trying to bring him out of the sedation.

And yeah, this year has been all around shit for a lot of people. I just really needed somewhere I could vent, and I've known you guys a damn long time now, so I figured this would be as good a place as anywhere.
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vladgd

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2020, 10:58:28 PM »
I was kind of thinking the same thing, soon as March hit, thing's been going downhill.

I ain't got it as bad as you, but in the past 2 months

-bosses mom dies of lung cancer
-co worker cousin is shot and killed
-5 year relationship with my girlfriend ended, moved back with my parents until i can find a new place
-due to said relationship ending, realize all of my friends are either too far away, or too busy to do anything, and due to pandemic it's kind of difficult to meet people irl

Here's hoping 2021 isn't so garbage, I look forward to it being over. I've been trying to work over my typical 50 hour weeks just to keep my mind off the new sense of loneliness I have been experiencing. If it wasn't for the car/commute situation I'd recommend more work if you can. I guess it depends on your job, but for me it's pretty much the same day in/out, and while personal stuff can change, I know work will still be work.

stay safe out there, ain't nothing guaranteed anymore.

Spectere

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2020, 08:26:02 AM »
So, I'm gonna rant a bit about all this bullshit.

Damn, dude. Sorry to hear that. :( At least you were there for him and were able to perform CPR until the medics arrived. A lot of people wouldn't have been able to stay composed long enough to do that.

I've been trying to work over my typical 50 hour weeks just to keep my mind off the new sense of loneliness I have been experiencing.

I ended up doing the same thing for a while to help stave off depression, etc.

Getting out of the house has helped, too. Even just taking casual drives has helped quite a bit.

He's gonna have to move back to Youngstown and work his old job siding houses for a while.

This has been keeping me in Youngstown. I was planning for 2020 to be the year where I get far away from my current, somewhat abusive job (I'm a full stack developer and occasional sysadmin—basically both full-time jobs—and I get paid well below market rates for either role). Nooooope. Here's hoping for 2021.



Might as well throw my hat in the ring, too. For the most part I've been getting by, working from home and such. My diet has actually gotten better for the most part, and I'm slowly losing weight.

The worst part is my own mind. Not going to go too deep into it, but throughout April and part of May I was damn near close to losing it. Depression, suicidal thoughts, you name it. Thankfully, staying away from social media and certain politically extreme people helped me slide back to something resembling normal, as well as giving myself some more physical projects (building up a proper office/gaming space). Weird as it might seem, Pokémon challenge videos (from Jrose11, Pikasprey, Gamechamp3000, etc) have helped take my mind off of things a lot, as well as getting back into playing and analyzing the Pokémon games.

I've only really had one personal tragedy, and that happened before things got really rough. One of my friends unexpectedly died in January (the cause was never released). It still stings whenever I open up LINE and see her username. :/
"Fuck 2020, and Fuck FedEx."  -Bobbias

Bobbias

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2020, 09:25:39 AM »
I've been trying to work over my typical 50 hour weeks just to keep my mind off the new sense of loneliness I have been experiencing. If it wasn't for the car/commute situation I'd recommend more work if you can. I guess it depends on your job, but for me it's pretty much the same day in/out, and while personal stuff can change, I know work will still be work.

If it works for you, then that's something at least. None of the jobs I've done have been the kind of thing I want to spend any more than the absolute minimum amount of time at. Not having any time to relax outside of work would just end up fueling burnout/depression. Even just working 40 hours, I always feel like I need more time to relax.

Damn, dude. Sorry to hear that. :( At least you were there for him and were able to perform CPR until the medics arrived. A lot of people wouldn't have been able to stay composed long enough to do that.

It seems like I'm relatively ok at keeping calm during situations like that. I'm thankful I was able to be there to do what I could, but I was really fucked up for about 2 days after. I was having flashbacks and shit.

Getting out of the house has helped, too. Even just taking casual drives has helped quite a bit.

Yeah for sure. When things were bad back around 2013-2015 I would often go out for random drives around town, or sit in my car listening to the radio outside a tim hortons or something.

I don't want to sink into the same kind of depression I had in 2013-2015, so when I realized that this was getting too much for me to handle on my own, I immediately reached out to my doctor and the employee assistance program that my work provides. The anxiety isn't just from the heart attack and stress of having to buy a new car in a short period of time, there's more going on there that I need to get sorted out.

This has been keeping me in Youngstown. I was planning for 2020 to be the year where I get far away from my current, somewhat abusive job (I'm a full stack developer and occasional sysadmin—basically both full-time jobs—and I get paid well below market rates for either role). Nooooope. Here's hoping for 2021.



Might as well throw my hat in the ring, too. For the most part I've been getting by, working from home and such. My diet has actually gotten better for the most part, and I'm slowly losing weight.

The worst part is my own mind. Not going to go too deep into it, but throughout April and part of May I was damn near close to losing it. Depression, suicidal thoughts, you name it. Thankfully, staying away from social media and certain politically extreme people helped me slide back to something resembling normal, as well as giving myself some more physical projects (building up a proper office/gaming space). Weird as it might seem, Pokémon challenge videos (from Jrose11, Pikasprey, Gamechamp3000, etc) have helped take my mind off of things a lot, as well as getting back into playing and analyzing the Pokémon games.

I've only really had one personal tragedy, and that happened before things got really rough. One of my friends unexpectedly died in January (the cause was never released). It still stings whenever I open up LINE and see her username. :/

Shit man, that's rough. That's yet another reason I avoid social media like the plague. I do use discord a decent amount, but apart from that and several forums I'm pretty much an internet ghost.

Oh, here's something kinda funny. I recently got an email saying someone tried to reset my hotmail password. So I logged in, changed my password, and noticed that someone had used that email to sign up for instagram. I reset their IG password, removed their account, and then deleted my hotmail account. I effectively hijacked someone's IG because they made the mistake of using my old email.
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Spectere

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2020, 09:39:17 AM »
It seems like I'm relatively ok at keeping calm during situations like that. I'm thankful I was able to be there to do what I could, but I was really fucked up for about 2 days after. I was having flashbacks and shit.

Yeah, keeping calm under pressure and the following mental/emotional trauma are two separate things. The worst part about it is that you never know how well you're going to be able to deal with situations like that until it happens.

Yeah for sure. When things were bad back around 2013-2015 I would often go out for random drives around town, or sit in my car listening to the radio outside a tim hortons or something.

Tim Horton's is a great idea, actually. We used to have some in my area but they both closed down in under a year. There is one in East Liverpool (around 45 minutes away from me). I should head down there one of these days.

Shit man, that's rough. That's yet another reason I avoid social media like the plague. I do use discord a decent amount, but apart from that and several forums I'm pretty much an internet ghost.

We should start actually using the s.net Discord again. :P

Oh, here's something kinda funny. I recently got an email saying someone tried to reset my hotmail password. So I logged in, changed my password, and noticed that someone had used that email to sign up for instagram. I reset their IG password, removed their account, and then deleted my hotmail account. I effectively hijacked someone's IG because they made the mistake of using my old email.

That happened to me recently with Roblox! Some kid registered a Roblox account with my Gmail account listed as his parents' e-mail address, then tried to access my account. Several accounts of mine with that e-mail address were compromised, so I'm guessing they saw it in a list and tried to use a common password to get in. I ended up basically doing the same thing that you did: reset their Roblox password and took it over.

I somewhat doubt that I'm ever going to play Roblox, but shit like that would prevent me from even trying the game if I wanted to. I have to say, it's kind of alarming that Roblox actually let the kid play the game (I could see their account history after I got into their account) without his "parent's" consent.
"Fuck 2020, and Fuck FedEx."  -Bobbias

Bobbias

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2020, 07:23:39 PM »
Yeah, keeping calm under pressure and the following mental/emotional trauma are two separate things. The worst part about it is that you never know how well you're going to be able to deal with situations like that until it happens.

Yeah, as soon as I realized it was gonna take some time to get through this I started talking to people and doing everything so I could actually take the time off and get the help I need to deal with the anxiety and such.

Tim Horton's is a great idea, actually. We used to have some in my area but they both closed down in under a year. There is one in East Liverpool (around 45 minutes away from me). I should head down there one of these days.

Yeah, back then I didn't have a phone, but it was just somewhere that I could get out of the house, get a coffee, and listen to the radio. I spent a log of time listening to the various overnight programs CBC runs. These days instead I'll steal wifi and watch youtube or anime. Shame to hear they closed, but on the other hand, Tims coffee isn't even all that great. I'm just so used to it that it doesn't bother me.

We should start actually using the s.net Discord again. :P

I'd talk if anyone else was alive there.

That happened to me recently with Roblox! Some kid registered a Roblox account with my Gmail account listed as his parents' e-mail address, then tried to access my account. Several accounts of mine with that e-mail address were compromised, so I'm guessing they saw it in a list and tried to use a common password to get in. I ended up basically doing the same thing that you did: reset their Roblox password and took it over.

I somewhat doubt that I'm ever going to play Roblox, but shit like that would prevent me from even trying the game if I wanted to. I have to say, it's kind of alarming that Roblox actually let the kid play the game (I could see their account history after I got into their account) without his "parent's" consent.

Ok, that's hilarious. And yeah, I'm sure my hotmail was compromised. I'm actually slightly amazed nobody actually took it over and changed the password. As for Roblox, I've got no interest. It looks like a predatory system riddled with microtransactions and shitty ripoff games that probably aren't worth playing in the first place.
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Spectere

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2020, 08:38:51 PM »
Yeah, as soon as I realized it was gonna take some time to get through this I started talking to people and doing everything so I could actually take the time off and get the help I need to deal with the anxiety and such.

Yeah, good call, especially with everything else that's been going on.

How's he doing, by the way?

Yeah, back then I didn't have a phone, but it was just somewhere that I could get out of the house, get a coffee, and listen to the radio. I spent a log of time listening to the various overnight programs CBC runs. These days instead I'll steal wifi and watch youtube or anime. Shame to hear they closed, but on the other hand, Tims coffee isn't even all that great. I'm just so used to it that it doesn't bother me.

Considering the only two other options near my workplace are Dunkin Donuts and a McDonald's whose machines are constantly broken, Timmy's was pretty great. I don't think I ever had their coffee black (I usually only take it like that at home) but their Iced Capps were pretty tasty.

As for Roblox, I've got no interest. It looks like a predatory system riddled with microtransactions and shitty ripoff games that probably aren't worth playing in the first place.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I've heard.

Funny to think that when I was around that age I was playing QuakeWorld and Quake II. Oh, how times change.
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Bobbias

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2020, 11:40:57 PM »
I visited him today. He's got 4 stents in his heart, and one blockage they found was almost 100% blocked. But he's finally awake. He can hardly talk, and I couldn't understand him when he did because between the lung infection he's got and being on a ventilator for like a week, his throat is very rough. But he seems to understand what's going on. He has been following the nurse's orders. He's still very weak, and probably still a bit out of it since he's been on pretty heavy sedation for quite a while, but I think all things considered he's doing pretty well.

And yeah, I don't recommend Tim's coffee black. I'll gladly drink starbucks coffee black with some sugar, but Tim's has a weird taste when black that I'm not much of a fan of. Can't say I've had Dunkin or McDonalds' coffee that I can recall.
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vladgd

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2020, 01:21:36 AM »
Not too picky with coffee, but I had a few tim hortons dark roasts black last week and they're perfectly fine by me. But I only drink my coffee black, so iunno. Only coffee I think isn't worth getting if you have the option is mcdonalds, and even that is still drinkable. I am the farthest thing from a coffee snob though, only drink it every so often.

Good to see things are getting (albeit slightly) better. World needs more good endings right now.

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Re: Holy fuck, 2020 sucks.
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2020, 10:53:53 AM »
It's good that he's at least aware of what's going on. Still, that's crazy. Best wishes to you and your family. <3

There are few things more subjective and polarizing than coffee preferences, I've found. When the Tim Horton's that used to be down the street from where I work opened up, I would ask three people for their thoughts and receive three radically different answers.
"Fuck 2020, and Fuck FedEx."  -Bobbias