Author Topic: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)  (Read 17894 times)

Jupi

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #30 on: July 10, 2008, 05:52:28 PM »
*gasp*

That...wasn't me!  *shifty eyes*
actually fuck you guys just kidding keep my quote in your sigs

flesy

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #31 on: July 11, 2008, 03:35:49 AM »
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA"
"it's not the birthday, it's independence day"

 :'(




Ridge

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #32 on: August 09, 2008, 05:59:33 AM »
bump for this

<@|Ridge|> http://penisenlargementiq.com/free-penis-enlargement.html
<@shakesoda|mac> in before viruses
<@|Ridge|> Did You Know?  72% of women need a larger and thicker penis to reach sexual orgasm.
<@|Ridge|> LOL
<@|Ridge|> ahahaha oh god
<Rika> LOL
<@shakesoda|mac> lmao
<Rika> What about the other 28%?
<@|Ridge|> they're lesbians
<Rika> oh, okay. That makes perfect sense
<@shakesoda|mac> haha
I shoot your hand with a gun that has bullets.

By gun I mean penis and by bullets I mean semen.

Fractilion

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #33 on: August 12, 2008, 06:18:59 AM »
I accidentally said Greaseland instead of Greenland

I even like to dream when asleep, and to try and recall my dreams: it assures me that I haven't wasted seven or eight hours just lying there.
   -Schrodinger's Cat

Spectere

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #34 on: August 23, 2008, 06:58:42 AM »
Renard: i'm gonna have to make furry avatar rotator OH WAIT IT ALREADY IS DERP DERP DERP
Me: infrrf
Renard: WTF LOL
Me: fgdofgsdja>!
Me: GOD I NEED SLEEP HAHAHA
Me: indeed
Renard: DUDE ME TOO BUT I DON'T CARE
Renard: SLEEP IS A WASTE OF BAD COMPUTER TIME
Me: that was the best typo ever
Renard: oh LOL
Renard: INFRRF
Renard: it sounds like furry sex
Renard: like
Renard: insertion happens between IN and FRRF
Renard: it's like "oh, yeah, in-FRRRF!"
Me: XD
Renard: xD
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

『フエハデ』

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #35 on: August 23, 2008, 12:56:19 PM »
While marking drill at YSU, we (the alto saxes and trumpets) are standing by the right 30-yard line waiting for everyone else to find it, and this trombone player comes up to us out of nowhere. The following conversation takes place:

Her: "Who is clarinet 3?"
Me: "Uh, the clarinets aren't here."
Chris: "The clarinets are on the other side of the field."
Her: "...There's another 30?"

Jupi

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #36 on: August 23, 2008, 01:04:33 PM »
...

*facepalm*
actually fuck you guys just kidding keep my quote in your sigs

K-Mann

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #37 on: August 26, 2008, 02:22:48 AM »
Things to know:
  • Moon porn is ultra-hardcore-alien-infested-tentacle-rape-necrophilia stuff. Crazy.
  • I'm not MacGyver, though its an honour to be called that name.
  • We still love Zak <3

Also: color coded for your convenience!

vladgd says:
had to show someone, and zakamiro is being sickingly gay right now
Ethan - says:
Whys that
vladgd says:
new gf = HE IS CORNEY
Ethan - says:
Oh jesus
I keep mine locked in the kitchen

vladgd says:
like you should
Ethan - says:
Nothing corny there unless she makes some
vladgd says:
he talks about butterflies and shit
Ethan - says:
Wow
vladgd says:
id rather hear about sick fetishes even i find disgusting, but no
i bet hes going to use a condom, in missionary position, not against her will
we're loosing him

Ethan - says:
No good
Bring him back
Shock therapy
tubgirl gogogogogogo

vladgd says:
to the balls
while watching necrophilia
no
WHILE BECOMING NECROPHILIA

Ethan - says:
Wow
vladgd says:
also lovley storm
<3

Ethan - says:
Killing and shocking at the same time
vladgd says:
yes
Ethan - says:
Jesus man
vladgd says:
you have to throw the hardest of the hardcore at this guy
else THERES NO SAVIN HIM

Ethan - says:
Thus
Shocking, killing, AND moon porn

vladgd says:
he could be listening to cher while all is going on also
Ethan - says:
Cher more like Madonna because thats pretty gay
vladgd says:
a transvestite singing britney spears instead
Ethan - says:
Yeah
With poor make up so you can tell completely
And a gut going so he hangs out a bit

vladgd says:
yes

that guy

though he pulls it off pretty good
Ethan - says:
wtf
Wheres the gut
And the shitty make up

vladgd says:
we can pay him to add those on
Ethan - says:
Not much
We need to save the rest for the electricity bill that we'll get with the shock therapy

vladgd says:
fuck you're right
Ethan - says:
And how much does it cost for the tools to dig up graves
?

vladgd says:
bout $5.00 for a shovel id assume
Ethan - says:
I mean I have a decent shovel
vladgd says:
my minivan can hold corpses
Ethan - says:
Maybe we'll get lucky and find a random pully in a desserted wearhouse nearby
vladgd says:
makeshift pulley
the tranny can make it

Ethan - says:
Rope it around its gut
vladgd says:
i think you are mcguyver
Ethan - says:
Jesus guy we are geniuses
vladgd says:
ZAKAMIRO IS ON HIS ROAD TO SALVATION ALREADY
« Last Edit: August 26, 2008, 02:44:58 AM by K-Mann »

Zakamiro

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #38 on: August 26, 2008, 02:46:43 AM »
<3 I love you guys.


We pressed on. Shortly afterwards, we arrived in a poisonous, post-apocalyptic hell - a sprawling, toxic dumping ground stretching for a mile or two. This is the final resting place for your old TV, computer or mobile phone.

annon

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #39 on: September 08, 2008, 09:23:38 PM »
Here's an excerpt from the mini-lecture my band director gave us:

"When you're out there on the field, at the end of each set, you gotta look up to the podium to see if I'm going to be tellin' you to do something. I know that girl next to you is cute, and you  want to flirt. I did the same thing. And we'll give you time to flirt, too. It's important. We need more band people."

Code: [Select]
f(u,c,k,_,y,e,a,h)
{return u*u*u*u-u*u*u*_+u*u*y-u*e+a?k?f(u+1,c,k-1,_,y,e,a,h):0:putchar(u-c+h)==f(u+1,u,k-1,_,y,e,a,h);}
main(){return f(0,0,34,84,2423,26628,72864,98)<putchar(32)>f(0,0,40,125,5809,118995,906750,96)==~putchar(10);}

flaffl

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #40 on: September 08, 2008, 10:17:59 PM »
Psychology Teacher

Where's Jordan Cox?
-NO RESPONSE-
SNAKE

SNAAKE

SNAAAAKE

k but seriously

Where's Jordan Cox?
-no response-
That fucking Coxucker.

annon

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #41 on: October 01, 2008, 12:26:20 AM »
Haha, I've been screwing with the hall jackass. Someone stole his hot pot (again) and since he's convinced it was me the first time, he thinks it's me again.

Guy: *walks into my room* Kevin! I know you took my hot pot again!
Me: No I didn't. You probably just lost it again.
G: I didn't lose it last time, you took it. And you lied about it!
M: Well, I didn't take it this time. I like thinking of other pranks to pull on you rather than just reusing them.
G: Yeah, but you could be lying again.
M: I could, but I'm not.
G: But you could be.
M: Ooh, you're sooo smart. Whoops, I lied again.
G: Haha, wait...Oh. *walks out*

<Later>

Me: *walks into his room* I know where your hot pot is.
Guy: You do?!
M: Yes, it's in the sister hall's girls' bathroom. *turns to walk out*
G: Hey, wait! How would you know that unless you took it?
M: Good question.
G: That's, like, self-incriminating evidence there.
M: Ok, fine, I took it and hid it in the girls' bathroom. Now you can go get it.
G: I will! *starts walking towards the sister hall* And I'll get you back for this! You just wait! I will! *leaves the hall*

<Later>

Guy: *walks into my room after visiting the sister hall's girls' bathroom* It wasn't in there, Kevin!
Me: Whoops, I guess I lied again.

This is fun.

Code: [Select]
f(u,c,k,_,y,e,a,h)
{return u*u*u*u-u*u*u*_+u*u*y-u*e+a?k?f(u+1,c,k-1,_,y,e,a,h):0:putchar(u-c+h)==f(u+1,u,k-1,_,y,e,a,h);}
main(){return f(0,0,34,84,2423,26628,72864,98)<putchar(32)>f(0,0,40,125,5809,118995,906750,96)==~putchar(10);}

Bobbias

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #42 on: October 01, 2008, 04:47:10 AM »
Haha, awesome work!
This is going in my sig. :)


BANNED FOR BAD PUNS X_x

Leorina

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #43 on: October 01, 2008, 08:36:17 AM »
One from my old high school principal:

"today's word of the day is businessasusual"
"The five keys to success here at this high school:
  1)show up
  2)do your work
  3)pay attention
  4)get to class on time
  5)be respectful
  6)get higher grades"
New updates for the pack Calamitous Strike posted here in my sig...also no PM's about BG's/BN's yet...I still need art for my songs.

Update: 9/28/08--Added expert difficulties for some songs and a hard difficulty
           9/30/08--Changed reasoning for song pack and added a few songs to Not Started
           10/5/08--Finished AA and have keyboard steps in the second parentheses
           10/14/08--Finished Do It Like We Do and working on a few new ones

TimJing

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Re: Funny Quotes (online and IRL)
« Reply #44 on: October 09, 2008, 09:14:33 PM »
Don't think this actually qualifies as a quote but whatever. Fits most nicely here.

Thought it was hilarious:

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.





The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.



After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.



Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.



Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.





It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.



Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.



Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

my avatar is peaches

MY BRAIN IS CAFFEINE