(long ish post incoming, not something I particularly want to talk to irl people and internet is a great place to unload, and thanks spektur for having a place for me to dump my thoughts to)
Well the primary reason I even consider it, is it's pretty stealth. During normal speech and conversation, it's not really noticeable from what I have had described to me. One person in particular said her roommate didn't even know about it. If anything your gauges would be more noticeable since they're kinda out in the open for all to see; and the tongue kinda looks normal unless you stick it out, then yeah. Even then, I've seen split people who's split is really symmetrical (varies from person to person) and when it's together, even visible, it's just not noticeable. Again, that is probably subject from person to person.
However in my search of images and videos, 100% of the people to get a split, have other work done to them. So I have no current reference of a non modified person, with just a split (as I would be if I got one).
I do back you up on the passing judgement on people thing. Albiet, I'd assume damn near everyone makes a snap judgement on a person just automatically based on looks. I have talked to people who just look like the scum of the earth, and after having an interaction with them, they're nice kind good people.
This guy for example, Samppa von Cyborg (yeah really). I'm not into this scene at all, and I'll be real, to me his look is pretty intimidating. Stories of people who got work done, I'd say...over 50% of them from all over europe, north america, australia, got it done by that guy. Every single one of them recommend him, and comments below them all back it up. Extremely professional, nice, and has the experience to back it up. I haven't heard one bad thing about this guy.
But really the #1 thing that has me worried, isn't results. I want the results, it's fascinating, and it looks like I can be normal with all my taste and speech in tact (after healing ofcourse). The actual process of getting the job done is fuckin messed up. With laws being as they are, I know it's banned in several states, some countries ban other things, can't use anesthesia depending on where you go (ninja I'll pay a grand extra for a plane ticket to go somewhere that can), some people say the process doesn't hurt at all, others say IT FEELS LIKE A SCALPEL CUTTING YOUR TONGUE DOWN THE MIDDLE (spoilers BECAUSE IT IS), so yknow...that. Also extreme pain afterwards, which goes away after less than a week, but still, I'm not sure I can mentally handle that kind of pain. I'd want to get knocked the fuck out for it, but other than going to a medical professional to get it done, it doesn't seem to be the norm at all. Why choose a body mod person over a medical professional though? There are some names floating around of certain people who do a clean professional great job and have results to back it up, and these people are passionate about what they do. Damn near every experience I have heard about a medical professional is they're disgusted by it and don't even want to do it, and I don't want a person like that touching me with no knife. (eww slicing a tongue open i'll just do a hackjob so I can get this wackjob out of my building, crazy psycho I bet he's a criminal or something)
I get it being "disgusting" or "weird" I get it, but damn if I take a safe sane calculated approach to this, with professionals with plenty of experience, whats the dilly? Regret? Very real possibility, but people get tats and piercings all the time(my mom has tattoos ffs), and tongue splits can be reversed (
Brian Decker has a few reversals on his instagram). It's not something I am doing for other people, and It's not something I intend on flaunting, It's just something for me, for me...for me. Shit if I had my way I'd legit have pointed ears, horns, 6 arms, pointed teeth, purple skin, and 8 eyes, but without taking acid, that's just not feasible, so this one thing is more than enough to satisfy my curiosity without going too outside the box.
I am assuming part of this has something to do with some internal body image issues, so I kinda want to put a few road blocks in the way to delay this to prove I really want it and it's not just a fluke spur of the moment thing. I want to drop down to under 190lbs, I want to squat over 200lbs, I want to run a 5k. It's not a time limited thing like the "cough" transitioning to be a woman thing "cough" so if I wait till I'm 35, then that's how it'll be. Preferably before I'm 31 though.
Plus the big reason, I legit think it's cool as fuck and looks awesome. I've always liked this, I just never pictured it on me until recent. Not to mention it gives me MORE control of my body, and that shit just fascinates me. I just wanna do this before I die.
Think that covers it for now, until my anxiety over it boils over into another encyclopedia. It's kind of stressful because I know full and well I am capable of making this thing into reality...and pain..ohh god pain...pain.... I mean I got those girly pills months or even years faster than people who legit needed them more than I did at the time, and those took a psyche professionals recommendation along with a doctors recommendation to get, so this is nothing compared to that.
Why can't I be normal?