Disclaimer: This is very ranty and rambly (I probably shouldn't be up this late). Read at your own risk.Since I'm currently in the process of dealing with an almost literal piece of shit right now, I figure I should throw out a few pointers on how to buy a decent tablet for both Android and iOS fans, based on my fairly extensive experience with both platforms.
AndroidThinking about getting a cheap throwaway tablet from your local grocery store? STOP. Keep walking. Save your money for a while and get something decent. See, when you go with something like that, you're not getting last year's technology. You're not even getting the year before's technology. You're getting something that makes the GameBoy Advance look like a cutting edge product (by 2017 standards). I saw one that has a resistive touchscreen. Imagine trying to use a modern tablet OS on something like that!
Have you saved up a few hundred dollaroos? Aiming to get a tablet from the likes of Samsung, HTC, or whoever's making Google's latest project? Woo! Go for it. You're probably in good shape. Wait, you are buying new, right? Looking at a refurb of last year's model?
Yeah, let me stop you right there. There are two issues that have been plaguing Android for a while now: chip manufacturers and OEMs. The former seem to like to discontinue support for their chips despite them being fairly new (hi, Qualcomm!). The latter make so many bloody changes to Android's UI that it takes them a year to even get on the newest version of the OS. Odds are you're going to get 1-2 years of solid software support if you buy new (Google guarantees 18 months). If you buy a refurb, especially from a previous generation model, you're directly affecting your support window. Now, Google has been in the process of moving more and more of the OS into the Play Story over the past few years, but that only does so much. Eventually there's going to be a core system update or a new kernel that needs to be dropped in. That's going to be something that's fundamental to the OS running and/or tied to the hardware, so that's probably not going to be easy to deal with.
Oh, well there'a always projects like LineageOS that can push you past what your tablet would otherwise support. True! However, there's some major,
major caveats to that. First, you're going to have to do some pretty major research into the device you want. Are the hardware device blobs licensed in a way that allows them to be repackaged? No? Is your bootloader locked? Yes? Do you have something like Knox on there, trying its hardest to prevent you from unlocking it? Yes? Does said protection blow an
eFuse that will permanently invalidate your
hardware warranty (I can't say "fuck you" enough, Samsung) if you trip it? Yeah, this is getting a little scary. Maybe if it's a cheap refurb.
Alright, so you're getting a new device from a major manufacturer. Awesome! Hope you like it.
iOSYou want a new iDevice? Buy a new iDevice. It's going to be supported for a while.
You want a refurbished iDevice? Well, it's going to be supported for at least three years (usually more nowadays--iPad 2 and iPhone 5 had 5 years of updates; all 64-bit devices are still receiving updates). If you're covered for more time than you're not, why not?
ConclusionI realize that this might be coming off as very fanboyish, but I actually do like Android as an OS. Hell, I bought a G1/HTC Dream when it was still a new thing.
What I dislike is Google's mismanagement of its OEMs and part manufacturers. They needed to keep this sort of shit on a tighter leash from the very beginning of the project. The problem was that their obsession with being in everyone's pocket (literally) drove them to licensing their platform to just about anyone. These cheap, barely functional slabs have the same level of access to the Play Store as a flagship device does. Why were these devices not vetted? They're clearly not fit for purpose. I've seen several people suckered into buying them and literally all of the ones that I've seen barely fucking work. They're too sluggish for any sort of serious use (consider how sluggish Chrome runs on a high-end Android device, then ponder how it would run on a device with about a hundredth of the performance) and they tend to shit themselves when you reboot it. Forget about updates, pleb. You don't need any critical security fixes. "Fuck you, we already have your money. When too many people catch on, we'll just start up a new company and run the same racket over
and over and fucking over again."
Oh, and their battery life is worse than your average Wintel laptop. Just think about that for a moment.
And the chip manufacturers. Oh boy. I completely understand why Apple and Samsung took the ARM specification and freaking ran with it. The number of devices that were prematurely buried when support was abruptly pulled for the Snapdragon 800 is just shocking. That wasn't even the first time that happened! The Galaxy Nexus had some difficult times due to Texas Instruments pulling out the ARM design business. It made use of the TI OMAP 4460, and when that was pulled from the market the phone stopped receiving updates. Google supported the phone for its promised 18-month period, but within two years the phone was no longer receiving official updates. Considering at the time it was common for US phone contracts to demand two year commitments, that's frankly unacceptable.
But let's talk about the good for a few moments. What makes Android unique is that it's sort of like a playground for new technology. I'm certainly not advocating for OEMs to be kept on a tight leash (which is what Microsoft did with Windows Phone 7). What I want to see is the dude doing licensing for Google Play services looking at the devices and either saying, "p cool fam" or "this fucking sucks" and granting approval or denial based on that. I want to be able to tell people, "hey, you have an Android phone! Sure, grab an Android tablet!" I want consumers--my friends and family--to be able to comfortably walk into a store, buy an Android tablet, and be able to use it as a daily driver. I don't want it to end up on my lap in the midst of an inescapable boot loop that seems to happen every time they dare to use the damn thing (guess what prompted this rant!).
In the meantime, I'll just keep saying what I've been saying: if you want Android, buy from a major manufacturer and buy it new. That'll give you the best odds for success.